The Nightwatch Program, Inc. - Crime Prevention At Its Best

The Changing Face of Mutilation

Publisher's Note: While all of our content is presented for all audiences, the following article may be somewhat graphic, as it discusses the personal experiences of a young team member, who we will refer to as Alex. We hope that you will be touched as much as

What kid didn't reopen a scab repeatedly just to hear their mother scream and so they could pick it again once it closed again. Cutting isn't just because someone can get away with it. They do it because things beyond their control are affecting them, usually involving their families, friends and or relationships. In the television program Degrassi: The Next Generation which can be seen on the N and on Noggin, Ellie a character who is dealing with the detrimental effects of her mother's drinking takes to cutting herself; and in a recent episode said to her mother "this is the cost of your drinking." While teens can say this is the reason I hurt myself, you can't place full blame on another person, if you're hurting yourself there is something inside of you that you have to deal with.

Recently the show Will & Grace had a character who said to Grace 'I'm not going to make little cuts on my legs today', to which Grace replied 'that we call closure.' The animated television show for mature audiences Drawn Together on Comedy Central, has a character Toot who in various episodes has cut herself and in others has dealt with bulimia and rejection. These three programs are currently being aired; the media is dealing with current issues. By putting shows on the air they aren't continuing to pretend the problem doesn't exist.

Most teens that cut themselves are unlikely to actually attempt suicide, because cutting is used as a coping mechanism rather than as a warning sign of suicide. While it may indicate that someone is depressed and that they think their life has spiraled out of control, most young people who hurt themselves aren't doing it for attention and also because it makes their internal pain external and visible.

I spoke with a young woman, who sought out information about the subject on our site. Alex is a bright, quick on her feet young woman, who looking at you might think she's a little insecure, but overall normal. As one speaks with her you can see the pain and affect of the last twenty-odd years of struggle she's experienced. She said to me, 'I want to help others; I don't want people to feel sorry for me.'

Alex said "When I was about ten I realized my life was spiraling out of control. I'd had social workers on my back for years, but they were annoying and I had learned over time how to push them away. My parents always pushed me hard; I never realized that after a while I became intent on pleasing them at any cost. While I was in junior high school, Kurt Cobain died, I think that situation affected how I would deal with the following few years, my friends and I were distraught with the news and it gave us a reason to disconnect from the world. I spent most of junior high cutting the tops of my arms, so cuts wouldn't be apparent and because I was afraid to bleed too much or to wind up in the hospital. I spent most of high school drinking and cutting myself, not intent on death but rather blending into the walls. In high school I was friends with people that looking back on I regret, I also dated people who treated me in such horrific ways that it scares me to think of the things I allowed other people to do to me. While the people in my life hurt me in an effort to push from my thoughts how they treated me, I would hurt myself. Sometimes I would bang my head against walls or I would cut off all my nails down to the nail bed, I would kick things, act out at the cat which I knew would hurt me more. I would pluck hair with my bare hands from my scalp, I would stand in the bathroom for hours with tweezers plucking hairs and making holes attempting to get blackheads, and other times I would pop a pussy zit, and once it had a scab on it I would pick that and then wind up being in public places with a tissue on my cheek as my face bled."

What Alex describes sounds graphic, but as we continued to speak she mentioned what other people she knew had done; a friend of hers put out cigarettes on her hands because her parents were getting divorced. Alex is like many other young people I spoke with about body mutilation that act out or hurt themselves when they feel frustrated, overwhelmed or out of control.

Body mutilation is becoming more common, and the methods less suspicious. Self magazine (May 2004,) had an article describing that mutilation was no longer burn gin oneself, cutting themselves and using razors; that many who partake of body mutilation pick their scalp, reopen scabs, and many times don't even realize that they are doing it but to specifically avoid doing it is a really hard habit to break because it's habitual and many times they are unconsciously picking at their skin or their scalp.

If you realize that this relates to you, talk to a friend or someone you trust. Sometimes all you need to do is let someone who you spend a good deal of time with know about this and they can stop you when you start to pick at your skin. As with anything else because people are talking about it and because it's being discussed on TV, your friends will be supportive and probably understand where your coming from and may even be able to tell you of their own experiences or those of someone else's.